Why Coffee Causes the Toilet Sprint, The Magic Wonders of Poo-Pourri, and...
WTF is a fecal transplant?
This week in F.L.U.S.H…
F.ascinating Facts
Did you know there is such a thing as a FECAL TRANSPLANT?
Yes, you heard that right. Fecal transplants. It's a thing, and it's helping many people who are seriously ill. You’re going to want to hold on to your toilet seats for this one.
WTF is a Fecal Transplant?
A fecal transplant is a procedure where feces from a healthy donor takes a detour, by way of donation, and finds a new home in someone else's gut.
It's like the ultimate "passing the torch" moment, well, kind of... but with fecal matter. Gross? Maybe. Effective? Absolutely!
This peculiar procedure is no joke. It's a proven treatment for serious gut infections like the dreaded C. Difficile, or C. Diff for short. When bad bacteria take over the good bacteria in your gut, things can get downright messy with symptoms like diarrhea, abdominal pain, and complications that can knock you off your feet. Not surprisingly, antibiotics use is often the culprit behind the C. Diff infection. Go figure!
How the Fecal Transplant Works
By introducing healthy bacteria from a donor's feces into the recipient's colon, it's like sending in a clean-up crew to restore order in the gut microbiome…
Mind you, this is no small-time operation.
In fact, around 50,000 fecal transplants are performed every year in the United States alone. Who would have thought we'd have a booming industry revolving around fecal transplants? What’s more, fecal transplants aren't just for gut infections anymore!
Medical professionals are currently delving into the vast possibilities of this unconventional form of therapy. Ailments like depression, urinary tract infections, obesity, and many others could be next on the list!
Look out, traditional medicine, because fecal transplants are stepping up to the plate in the weirdest and most unexpected ways!
L.oo’s Lavatory Lingo
Get ready for a potty-themed history lesson on the origins of the word “loo”, also known as the toilet.
It began with the medieval Europeans who had a peculiar habit of shouting the French phrase "guardez l'eau!" (“Watch out for the water!”) before tossing their chamber pots out of the window. As you may remember in my previous post “Groom of the Stool” (Check it out HERE), the chamber pot is where all of the post-defecation excrement was captured back in the day. Well, this bowl of grossness had to be disposed of somehow, so they literally threw it out of the window!
Can you imagine being the unfortunate soul walking along and being hit in the head with some random stool? Not cool!
So the Brits decided to put their own twist on “guardez l’eau” and changed it to a slightly bizarre "gardy-loo." It’s funny to imagine them proudly shouting “gardy loo!” while unleashing their chamber pot missiles upon an unsuspecting world.
Gardy-loo ended up getting cut down to just the word “Loo”. Which happens to be my namesake! FML 🤪
No matter, the toilet had a fresh new name that would forever carry the echoes of those medieval window-pot-throwing shenanigans.
U.seful Tip
This stuff will slap the stink off of a skunk’s fart. And if you’ve ever used Poo-Pourri you know what I’m talking about.
Poo-Pourri is literally the magical "Before You Go" toilet spray that tackles even the most formidable of odors.
Here’s how Poo-Pourri works:
Simply give your porcelain throne a spritz of Poo-Pourri before you drop the kids off at the pool.
This marvelous spray is packed with aromatic essential oils that act like a protective blanket, capturing and imprisoning those pungent odors beneath its fragrant surface. When you flush, the only aroma left in the air is the delightful essence of Poo-Pourri. Magic? You bet!
Now, let's talk about scents.
Poo-Pourri offers an array of wonderful fragrances for every nose imaginable (and some with hilariously clever names). Fresh Air, Lavender Sage, Ship Happens, and Bass Ackwards are just an example of your options. And hey, they even have travel-sized bottles for those on-the-go poo emergencies. Pretty thoughtful!
So, save the nose hairs of anyone unlucky enough to enter the bathroom after you.
Spray some Poo-Pourri into the toilet before you unleash your next rear-end explosion of unpleasantness, and witness the stench vanish into thin air.
It's like you were never there.
Say What???
What the flush? The peculiar case of the Pittsburgh Potty.
In the 20th century, Pittsburgh Potty was a toilet commonly found literally in the middle of the basement in, of course, Pittsburgh, Pa. Weirdly these toilets were out in the open with no surrounding walls.
Where is the privacy you ask? Well, apparently these toilets had a dual purpose that may raise your eyebrow.
Dual Purpose of the Pittsburgh Potty
These toilets were supposedly used by steelworkers and miners, who were grimy from working all day.
They would enter the house through a basement exterior door and go right to the toilet and shower to clean off before heading upstairs. Pretty efficient!
But these quirky potties were more than just a place to handle your business.
Pittsburgh Potties were actually installed as a clever backup plan to prevent sewage disasters from flooding the upper living areas. Apparently, when sewage decides to make an unexpected comeback, it tends to flood the lowest fixture in the house.
That said, the Pittsburgh Potty was installed to contain any sewage mishaps, sparing the rest of the house from further damage.
Pittsburgh Potty - A backup for a backup.
H.ow It Works
Coffee, your beloved morning elixir, gives most people that inevitable sprint to the bathroom. But why?
The simple answer is caffeine.
Caffeine doesn’t just jolt your mind; it is responsible for quickly forming a “shit” storm in your digestive system. When you take your first glorious sip of coffee, caffeine is like a drill sergeant, rousing every sleeping soul in your gut!
But caffeine has an instrumental sidekick that helps get shit moving. Gastrin.
Gastrin is a hormone that is triggered by caffeine.
When gastrin is released, it kicks off a wave of contractions in your digestive system called peristalsis. Signals are sent to the colon prompting it to make room for what's coming through. This can lead to a sense of urgency and will put you on a wild hunt for the nearest restroom.
So stay prepared when enjoying your morning java so no SHIT-uations catch you off guard!
